But you can have a lollipop made out of lard

If you have ever met me, or more specifically seen my eating habits, you will understand how much this latest plan is going to kill me. If you haven't, here I am in a nutshell: I have things like wheat germ, flax seed, spinach, soy milk and whole wheat flower occupying my refrigerator. I eat them on purpose.

So, here we go. We are starting Mya on the ketogenic diet in 4 weeks. It is a super restrictive high fat, low carb and protein diet that has been proven to be as effective as certain medications in controlling or (hopefully!) eliminating seizures. In fact, once you get to where we are standing, where several medications have failed, it actually gives you the best odds of success. Something like 10-30% of kids get seizure control, which is huge considering nobody starts the diet if a medication could be found to work. They don't really understand how it works exactly but you basically force the body to burn fat to use as energy rather than carbohydrates. The theory is that you are actually altering the brain chemistry which, for some kids, is enough to eliminate seizures altogether. It might be several months before we know if Mya one of those kids.

They will start her off on a 3:1 ratio, which means 3 grams of fat per every one gram of combined carbohydrates and proteins and then adjust from there. We will be restricting, weighing or measuring everything that enters or touches her body, down to toothpaste and lotions. And we will try not to complain too much because we get to use a formula and, as you might imagine, the diet is a whole different deal for kids who take everything by mouth and enjoy foods that are not covered in oil or washed down with heavy cream. Imagine explaining to your 5 year old why she can't have a banana but she can have, and must finish, a sucker made out of oil. Delectable.

This also means another hospital admission. We do love hospitals. This one should only be 3 or 4 days to watch for side effects and to monitor if it is working like they expect. And we get to be prepared in advance and arrive with a healthy child which is far superior to our prior admissions. So, here we go. Say goodbye to your blackberry pie Mya, and mom and dad's sanity. Pie and sanity are overrated.