running out of steam

We heard rumors of extubation yesterday. They stopped her overnight feed at 4 a.m. last night in case they were going to give it a go. But then they didn't give it a go. So they are doing the same tonight. And it feels like we are never getting out of here. Like when there is no little twinkling light at the end of the tunnel you don't have any expectations but then when the little light appears and then fades away you want to scream at it to come back. COME BACK LITTLE LIGHT! So maybe it will happen tomorrow and maybe she will respond like a rockstar and we will go home this weekend or early next week or maybe we will spend eternity living out of my purse and backpack and sneaking granola and m&m's in the 'no food zone' and making forbidden cell phone calls. All I really want is to hold my little girl, little light, so let's get this thing going.