How do you do it?

Well...most days aren't like today.

I am a sometimes stay at home mom. That means that unlike the all the time stay at home moms I know that there is adult time on the horizon on those days when someone decides that screaming at the top of their lungs is hilarious and they are against pants. I know there will be 3 days in the week that I will be allowed to stare at a computer screen or pull out my calculator to figure out more than the cost per diaper of Huggies versus Target brand. I know there will be commute time to focus on nothing but the radio or the to do list in my head. And I would say my at home days are less than typical as well. My 3 kids are each in early intervention and I have a child with a slew of complex medical conditions which translates into a slew of specialists who all want my $30 copay. That means that the days I am home are usually filled with therapies or doctors appointments. I am beyond fortunate that the therapies on the list happen in my home. That means for the most part my madness is contained where I can easily pull out snacks that were not pre-assembled or command a nap time on a whim. This is nothing like having the madness strewn about the grocery store aisle or wailing for Oye Oohs in front of the Gap.

But some days, like today, therapy is cancelled or there is nothing on the schedule and I decide to venture into the world of accomplishment with the kids in tow (which, in my experience, resembles very little of the accomplishment that can happen without the kids in tow). And that reminds me that 'how I do it' is by choosing my battles. I know what my stressors are and I avoid them if I can. I have heard of these legendary mothers of multiples who do their grocery shopping every week with the stroller in front of them and the grocery cart pulled behind. That is not me. Today for the very first time I took all 3 kids to the grocery store. It was fine. We got the 3 items I needed to finish the recipe for dinner, I struggled to steer the giant cart with the little race car out front (yes Clayton was in heaven), nobody cried. We survived, and I like to prove to myself we can do these things, but not every week. These same legendary mothers have to get out of the house on a regular basis and will load their kids in the car just to drive through McDonald's for a coffee. No, thank you. After our grocery store extravaganza this morning we met a friend at the mall. Sure we had fun, Ella and Clayton got to walk around, we smiled at a few gawkers, we rode the glass elevator, and then we decided it was nap time. And the amount of time I spent loading and unloading the stroller and hooking and unhooking kids from carseats most definitely was longer than the time we spent in the mall. I can do today just fine. But I couldn't do today every day. I know that. And that is how I do it.

And the other reasons I am still sane:

• I get up before they do. I get a workout in (in theory). I get a shower. I start laundry. I sit down and eat breakfast as I listen to the chuckles of two babies toddlers who love their cribs. I plan for the day. I start cooking their breakfast or dissolving their pills and prepping their feeding pump as the case may be.
• They nap. Well, 2 of them nap. That means I can count on returning phone calls, answering email, prepping dinner, cleaning up the kitchen for the umpteenth time and usually eating lunch.
• I do my shopping on the weekends when my husband is home. I can choose to take a child or I can enjoy a little bit of silence. We also usually hit one store a week during the evening commute.
• My husband is 100% present. He measures bottles to the tenth of a gram, he soothes tears, he changes diapers and he manages prescriptions. In the exhaustion of the first months that are triplet infancy we got up together to get the feedings done. Every single time. When Mya can't get comfortable at night we take turns getting up to help her. We are a team. And if in my quest to eat lunch I skipped the kitchen cleaning or the prepping of dinner he doesn't care. Or at least he doesn't let on that he cares.
• Plus, my kids are very helpful.

See, helpful